I used to think there might be something wrong with me because I’d might get totally involved in playing with toys, or colouring, or watch kids TV, I was ashamed of this because the desires would be laughed at and ridiculed. Then, I find out that I have MPD/DID, which in many ways was a terrifying discovery. However, it did mean that those desires I had for kid things wasn’t anything wrong, because parts of me ARE kids. That is so wonderful to find out, yet so hard to understand and comply with.
It is very difficult though… having these children within you who cannot do all the things healthy children do due to the age of the body. Holidays. Birthdays and Christmas can be the worst, especially if you’re in a situation where you can’t do things for the younger parts inside. It does help to understand that if you can’t get them things on those days, or if YOU don’t get anything on those days, it can be SO hard on them. Because those are days that kids are supposed to enjoy things given to them, and they can’t, they can feel very unloved.