In 17 hours

it will be exactly 6 years since our life turned to ****…

6 years ago we had been chucked out from the parents house, we had been homeless, we had ended up moving in with Tristan, we had been beaten, insulted and ridiculed…

but… we still had hope, we still had a future… 6 years ago in 17 hours that changed…
after that night we gave up… had officially become a mere “object” to be used and sold, an object with the sole purpose of pleasing others with no wants of needs of it’s own…

we stoped turning up to college, failed exams, didn’t do coursework… ended up leaving and going to college, but only to appear “normal”… failed that too…

only came to uni in order to escape… only did this course as it was all that wuld accept us… only clmed to have ambitions and hopes as that was what “normal” people had…

but then… over the last few weeks things changed… we had a future again… had hopes and wants… we had a plabn to go back to college and then go do a degrree in what WE wanted to do, not just whatever would take us…

but… because we did college back then, and because we came to uni we’re going to have to pay stupid amounts of tution fees a year to do a different degree 😦 cannot be afforded

if that night 6 years ago had not happened we’d have passed our A-levels and now be studying physics. The life that was planned woudl exist.

however… if it was not for that night and so the events that fllowed then would never have met Jack…

I thought tat I was doing right, going to college… I thought it was the right thing to do, even though I knew I could not pass with all that was going on… But ends up I should not have fought, I shold have sat back and let a;; the bad stuff happen without trying to have a “Life” without trying to be “normal”, without trying to be what I am not. I should have just sat in that flat and let him hit and rape me, I should have given him the children he wanted.
I shouldn’t have tried to better myself nor escape the situration. If I had just sat there and let it happen then now I would be able to go to colleege and uni for the first time, and so not pay tutition fees.

don’t understand… we fught fighting was the righ thing to do

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