DID is real, it can be hell, but it also can be fun.

I know that a lot of people don’t believe in multiple personalities. I find that interesting. I’d rather not believe in it myself 😉 However, given that I live with a group of people in my head who insist they are real, and who take control of my body on a regular basis, I’m trying to learn to accept the fact that they’re real, and have been real since I was about 6 years old.
I’ve wrestled a lot of long, lonely, difficult hours with this.

  • They’re not imaginary.
  • They’re not because I’m malingering.
  • They’re not because I’m well-read about DID.
  • They’re not there because I’ve seen movies.
  • They’re not there to get me out of anything.
  • They’re not there because its “convenient.”
  • They’re not made up.
  • They’re not invented so I can stay in therapy longer, or to get attention, or to be cool, or anything like that.

You know why they’re there?
Because stuff happened that my own mind couldn’t handle. And maybe because I was a little too creative, and a LOT too sensitive…

I promice that this is real, I do experiance this, all of it.

  • It sucks sometimes.
  • I’ve lost friends.
  • I’ve lost support.
  • I have to take responsibility for things that I didn’t even know I did.
  • I have to fix mistakes that I dont remember making.
  • I forget things all the time.
  • I never know what time it is
  • I can’t remember almost 14 years of my life
  • Its inconvenient.
  • Its a pain in the butt.
  • Its terrifying.
  • The headaches are AWFUL
  • It takes us hours to make a simple decision as everyone refused to agree
  • Sometimes I loos a few hours and end up in a different city with no idea where I am or how I got there
  • Acting like a child when in an adults body never ends well…
  • “coming back” to being yelled at by people when I have no idea why is upsetting and SO confusing
  • Its full of flashbacks and pain and loneliness and fear.  Sometimes having noone, no company other than the others you share a body with as all the “singletons” can’t understand and end up leaving you
  • And having people you might not even like take up residence inside your head.
  • Some of these people may have different mental illnesses to you, so on a day to day basis the body can go through anything from self-harm to purging…
  • You end up having items in your woardrobe that not only do you not rememmber buying but that don’t even fit

Basically, imagine taking 9 or 10 (and in some cases, many more) people from different walks of life, with completely different personalities and histories and likes and dislikes, and putting them all in a verysmallroomforaverylongtimetogether and see what happens. ell them to share this space for and endless amount of time, add one therapist standing outside the door of room who can see inside through a very small window, shake the room up, and enjoy…

Telling us things like “multiples personalities do not exist”, “stop acting, you’re fooling noone”, “stop looking for attention”, “this self pitty thing is getting old”, “there is no such thing as DID, next time you fake a disorder make sure it’s a real one”, etc. really doesn’t help… it is real, we experiance it, if it’s not real then what are we? why are we here?

Though truth be told there are some good points… like for example you are never truely alone… and it can result in some fairly funny siturations once you learn to laugh about it (which you have to do or you’d robably end up crying or suicidal). You’ll also never be short of clothes, something for every possible situration lol. If you can’t handle doing something then you can ask someone else to take over, though I feel bad for doing this… And it’s also a great excuse for things, you always have someone else to blaime events on 😛

DID can be good

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Mental health and the NHS

It’s estimated that around half the GP surgeries in England provide counselling services and support.
However, the availability of services varies depending on where you live and in some parts of the country, especially rural areas or small towns, NHS therapy is in short supply. You may have to wait a long time or travel to find something suitable.

The Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme, which began in 2006, is putting thousands more trained therapists into general practices. The scheme will provide easy access to talking treatment on the NHS to everyone who needs it.

Your GP can refer you for talking treatment that is free on the NHS. This will usually be a short course of counselling or CBT from the general practice’s counselling service.
If counselling or CBT aren’t available at the surgery, your GP can refer you to a local counsellor or therapist for NHS treatment.
You may also be able to refer yourself for counselling. The IAPT programme means more and more primary care trusts (PCTs) are introducing the option of self-referral.
Self-referral means that people who prefer not to talk to their GP can go directly to a professional therapist. The service is already available in some parts of England. To find out what’s available in your area see our psychological therapy services directory.

If you have a serious mental health condition, such as severe depression, or a history of trauma or abuse, your GP can help you decide whether it would be better for you to see a different mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist or a member of the local community mental health team.

If you can afford it, you can choose not to use the NHS and insted to pay for your therapy. The cost of talking therapy varies and a one-hour session can cost between £40 and £100! So in reality we are getting a SERIOUSLY good deal from the NHS… Other than the cost one of the drawbacks of going private is there are no rules governing who can dvertise talking therapy services, so it’s essential to check that the therapist is listed on one of the registers of approved practitioners. The advantage, however, is that you have more control over choosing a therapist as you can almost interview several until you find one who’s treatment suits you.

The main category of therapy offered by the NHS is talking therapy is a broad term. It covers all the psychological therapies that involve a person talking to a therapist about their problems. Howeverr, in some cases areas offer other forms, and it can also be possible to get funding towards a private therapist of a different type of therapy. Talking therapy includes cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), cognative analitical therapy (CAT) and psychotherapy. Family therapy, couples therapy and group therapy are also offered, and can be placed under the umbrella term of talking therapy.

For those who find talking difficult creative therapies can aso be offered, these include such things as art therapy, body work, msic therapy and movement therapy.

We love the NHS… We currently are unable to work so get £360 a month to lie on, and as our rent alone is £575 that’s basically impossible… so without the NHS there is no way we could get treatment. In the past we have even had the hospitals, etc. send us and pay for taxi’s as we have issues getting outside and so couldn’t get there. I will admit that I have ad some bad experiances, bt these have mainly been with people rather than the service generally… and there are “bad” peopkle in every profession, doctors, nurses, psychs, etc are only human afterall. Over my life I have probably cost the NHS thousends of pounds (not exadurating either) and witout some of that treatment I would be dead… so without the NHS I’d either be dead or in so much debt that I’d wish i was dead…

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