I was first raped at the age of 16 when my then partner “sold” me to a drug dealer for drugs without my knowledge. My then partner took me down a street and then told me to stay there while he went to do something, next thing I knew I had a knife at my throat, and the rest is history.
After this event my partner started to rape and physically abuse me.
The first time I went to the police was when I was 17. After conversations that seems to last forever I was told that a conviction would be unlikely, and so it was “no-crimed”
When i was 19 I ran away from him. Left the city, and even the country. And I tried reporting him again, this time they told me that there would be no point in furthering anything as I was so far away from him anyway. But surely my moving away shouldn’t make what he did no longer matter?
Not long after this he found me and hurt me once more. I rung the police as soon as he left only to be accused of lying.
When I was 21 I saw him for the last time, he tried things this time too but I got away. After this he started to harass me with constant phonecalls and emails, even changing my number didn’t seem to get rid of him. So I went to the police, this time they finally took my seriously. I gave statements, I had a medical and I was told that they would be in touch again soon. Next I heard from them was them asking for permission to see MY medical records, it was at this point that they began to treat me as if I was the one on trial. I asked why they needed them and they started talking about my credibility and saying that they also needed to know about my sexual past to establish my reputation. I was the VICTIM not the RAPIST and yet they were acting as if I was the one who had to prove my innocence.
It was not long after this that I was informed that they would only be taking one of my abusers to court as they could not establish the identity o one and the other would be unlikely to be convicted due to his credibility and reputation. Apparently the one who they were willing to prosecute they did so solely on the basis that he was a drug addict and so “what people expect to see in a rapist”!!!
This few weeks where awful… all the waiting, the personal questioning, the building up followed by the crashing down. I could have coped with it (just), but in the end it was all for nothing as he, as a last act of spite, took an overdose killing himself before the legal proceedings could happen.
Why did he kill himself? Who knows… for ages afterwards people told me I killed him, that my reporting of the events was too much for him to handle. But you can’t make someone kill theirselves, he decided to take those drugs, he decided to mess about with drugs to start with, and HE no one else decided to beat and rape me repeatedly for 3 years and then to harass and almost stalk me for 2 more.
The above is my main experience with the legal system, and is one of the reasons that I now spend so much time trying to help others through the legal maze and web of lies that lay within it. In my opinion rape is a crime, and a crime is a crime, they should all be treated the same way. I mean did you know that in cases of rape the accused does not even have to take the stand? And that half the time the victim is not allowed to even speak with the prosecution prior to the trial? Can you think of a single other crime where that i the case?
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