“thinking errors” caused by abuse/rape/trauma

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1.Hindsight Bias.

  • When you believe the you could have known what was going to happen before it was possible to know it.
  • Believing that you overlooked certain “signs”; such as a thought, feeling, dream, intuition, etc.
  • Sometimes people view prior “signs” as omens as it can give an illusion of control over the event
  • Some people will subconsciously alter their memories of an event to include these “omens” as it can be less painful to blame oneself for missing these “signs” than to feel powerless.

2.Confusing the possibility that you could have prevented the event with the belief that you caused it.

  • Often hindsight bias leads to the mistaken belief that you “could somehow have prevented” the event, and therefore you “actually caused it”.

3.Failing to consider or accet this biological truth:

  • Certain scientifically proven, involuntary, emotional and biological reactions to trauma or extreme stress are so powerful that they cannot be controlled by personal determination nor willpower.
  • Extreme stress can result in biologically based reactions such as dissociation or adrenaline surges which can impair mental abilities.
  • In traumatic or stressful situations time is often limited this combined with the effects of shock and confusion results in a lack of the luxury of being able to weigh up options or even to fully gather the facts of the situation.
  • Incases of sexual abuse or rape it is often common for the victim to become aroused. This is a biological and involuntary reaction and does not in anyway mean that the even was enjoyed, deserved or make the person a “slut”, “whore” or anything else other than human.

4.Evaluating what you did based on information that you discovered after the event.

  • It is not fair to judge yourself about the decisions you made during a devastating and stressful event by considering options that you thought of later, after you have had time to process what happened, or after discussing it with another. You can only weigh the merits of what you did against the alternatives that you thought of at the time, not against those you considered only with hindsight.

5.Considering only the possible positive consequences of an alternative action.

  • Do you feel guilty or ashamed due to feeling as if you should have reacted differently? Do you only look at the positive results of the path that you did not choose? Are you minimising that paths potential fornegative consequences?

6.Emotional reasoning.

  • Emotional reasoning involves judging the merits of an action or idea based solelyon your emotional reaction to it. Often this emerges as the thining of t”feelings being facts”, when in reality just because you feel a certainway does not mean that you are it. For example: “I feel guilty,  therefore I must be guilty”, however this is flawed reasoning as to verify that actions are guiltworthy more than just feeling guilty is required.

7.All-or-Nothing thinking.

  • This is basically seeing the world in black/white terms… so all bad, all good, etc.
  • Lifeis full of ambiguities and complex situations;  however, when someonehas experienced a life shattering event their entire concept of theworld c ould be changed.  The entire world can become “dangerous”, “scary”, etc. All men could become “bad”. But in reality the word has not become any more dangerous, it is the same as it has always been; only your perception has changed.

8.Exaggerating or minimising the meaning of an event.

  • The tendency either to exaggerate or minimise the meaning of a negative event is similar to all-or-nothing thinking. However, both of these paths of thinks can be damaging. It is erroneous to consider that the event was “nothing”, that you should just “get over it” or that it will not effect your life, but it is also wrong to consider it a defining moment or a core to your identity.
  • This event effected you, that makes it important, however, you are worth more than this experience and are not defined by it.
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Information about sexual predators

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So who are these sexual predators?

  • Males and Females
  • Young Adults, Middle-Aged Adults, and Seniors
  • Upper Class, Middle Class, and Disadvantaged
  • All Races & Ethnicities
  • Vocationally Diverse

In short, paedophilia, or adult sexual attraction to children, does not discriminate by race, gender, class, or age.

One child pornography sting operation by the U.S. Justice Department and Customs Postal Inspectors resulted in well over two hundred arrests. The occupations of those arrested was a virtual rainbow of American life, representing 44% of all occupations listed by the U.S. Department of Labour.

How many victims does a child molester average?

Interviews guaranteeing complete confidentiality and immunity from prosecution, conducted by Emory University psychiatrist Dr. Gene Abel, uncovered that:

  • Male offenders who abused girls had an average of 52 victims each.
  • Men who molested boys had an astonishing average of 150 victims each.
  • Only 3% of these crimes had ever been detected.

How do child molesters get into situations where they can exploit children?

Due to the nature of their sexual addiction, few paedophiles are able to resist their powerful urges to initiate contact with children and will go to great lengths to do so. Common strategies include:

  • Befriending parents, particularly single parents, to gain access to their children.
  • Offering babysitting services to overextended parents or caregivers.
  • Taking jobs and participating in community events that involve children.
  • Attending sporting events for children and/or offering to coach children’s sports.
  • Volunteering in youth organizations, offering to chaperone overnight trips.
  • Loitering in places children frequent – playgrounds, malls, game arcades, etc.
  • Spending time in Internet gaming and social communities, learning the online interests and lingo of youngsters.
  • Becoming foster parents.

What is the most common method used by child molesters?

The Affection Lure – Most victims of abuse are “groomed” over a period of weeks, months, or years. The Affection Lure is used both offline and online to seduce unsuspecting youngsters in need of love and attention. As child molesters have repeatedly said: When there’s a physically or emotionally absent parent in the picture, it makes the child more vulnerable than ever.

Which age group is most often targeted by child molesters?

In the interviews I conducted, the majority of molesters cited a preference for children on the brink of puberty. This is the age of sexual awakening, making it easy for molesters to prey on the sexual curiosity and ignorance of youngsters. To quote one of the predators I interviewed, “Give me a kid who knows nothing about sex, and you’ve given me my next victim.”

While parents are inclined to give pre-teen children more freedom and less supervision, this age group is actually the most vulnerable to abuse and abduction. One way to reduce the risk is to talk frankly and often to children about “the birds and the bees” and not allow child molesters to educate children for us.

Wouldn’t a vigilant parent be able to detect a child molester, just by their actions?

Not necessarily. Always remember:

  • Paedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
  • Paedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child’s life – their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
  • Paedophiles are professional con artists and are expert at getting children and families to trust them.
  • Paedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy.

Do kids and teens ever sexually abuse other children?

Sadly, yes – and many of these juvenile offenders are victims of sexual abuse themselves. A U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics report found that:

  • 23% of all sexual offenders were under the age of 18.
  • 40% of offenders of victims under age 6 were themselves juveniles
  • 13% were 7-11 years old; 27% were 12-17 years old.
  • 39% of the offenders of victims ages 7-11 were juveniles.
  • 27% of the offenders of victims ages 12 -17 were juveniles.

What types of assaults were these?

Juvenile offenders under the age of 12 were responsible for:

  • 23% of forcible sodomies
  • 19% of forcible fondlings
  • 17% of sexual assaults with an object
  • 7% of forcible rapes

Juvenile offenders ages 12 – 18 were responsible for:

  • 36% of forcible sodomies
  • 27% of forcible fondlings
  • 23% of sexual assaults with an object
  • 17% of forcible rapes

When and where do these assaults usually happen?

The peak time for juvenile assaults was 3 pm, after school. Other spikes in the number of incidents were at the traditional meal times of 8 am, noon and 6 pm. Most of these assaults happened in the home of the victim, the home of the offender, or another residence.

How many of these assaults were by family members?

  • 49% of offenders of victims under age 6 were family members.
  • 42% of offenders of victims ages 7-11 were family members.
  • 24% of offenders of victims ages 12 – 17 were family members.

Are there groups of organized paedophiles that prey on children?

Yes. Small groups of militant and highly organized child molesters operate worldwide through paedophile organisations, whose members claim genuine concern for the welfare of children. The actual number of members in these organisations is unknown, though their power is evident. One paedophile organisation’s newsletter correctly identified ten sting operations in five different states. Another exposed and compromised four federal sting operations. Clearly, these organisations have connections.

What are their beliefs and goals?

In general, these groups believe that sex with children is harmless; some even claim that sexual relations are healthy for children. Their goals include decriminalising child molestation and lowering the age of consent.

Where do they meet?

In addition to attending paedophile conferences and conventions, members now meet primarily via the Internet where they may swap methods, success stories, even names, descriptions, and images of children. Since the early 1980’s, they have exploited the Internet to communicate with one another, spreading their propaganda to anyone who will listen.

Aren’t their activities illegal?

Most paedophile groups and members are careful to keep their public activities within the realm of protected civil liberties.

In 2006, a new political party (PNVD) was established in the Netherlands. Commonly referred to as “the Paedophile Party,” it seeks to lower the age of consent from 16 to 12. Opponents had asked The Hague District Court to bar the party from registering for national elections, but Judge H. Hofhuis ruled: “Freedom of expression, freedom … of association, including the freedom to set up a political party, can be seen as the basis for a democratic society.”

Are these paedophile groups a real threat?

While the average child molester does not belong to a paedophile organization, but we would be foolish not to take seriously any group whose members are committed to sexual activity with children.

“The trauma myth”

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In an interview on Salon.com, the author of the highly criticized “The Trauma Myth,” Susan Clancy was asked, “What do you mean by the “trauma myth”?”

The interview can be seen here

Clancy’s reply: “The title refers to the fact that although sexual abuse is usually portrayed by professionals and the media as a traumatic experience for the victims when it happens – meaning frightening, overwhelming, painful – it rarely is. Most victims do not understand they are being victimized, because they are too young to understand sex, the perpetrators are almost always people they know and trust, and violence or penetration rarely occurs.”

If this so-called mental health ‘professional’ feels that violence and penetration rarely occurs, she ought to update herself to the 20th and 21st centuries. She sounds like the people from the first half of the 20th century, who claimed that incest is rare.

Clancy says, “Most victims do not understand they are being victimized, because they are too young to understand sex, the perpetrators are almost always people they know and trust, and violence or penetration rarely occurs. “Confusion” is the most frequently reported word when victims are asked to describe what the experience was like. Confusion is a far cry from trauma.”

To say that violence or penetration rarely occurs is professionally negligent and outrageous, and I have news for Clancy; an adult with bad intentions placing their body or their hands up against, onto, into, or on top of a child is traumatizing emotionally, mentally, and physically. When it is a parent or trusted loved one –it is also a betrayal, and can betrayal not often be traumatic?

I know someone who as an infant had a kitchen knife thrust up her vigina when her mother tried to kill her by cutting her in half. Is this woman seriously say that would NOT be traumatic?

A child does not have to understand sex to KNIW when something is wrong. I didn’t not understand what was going on, but I KNEW something was not right. Being held down against your will and having items and boody parts thrust against and inside you IS TRAUMATIC!

“Despite all of this media and research attention on sexual abuse for the last 30 years, I still don’t hear the answer to one question: What the…. is wrong with all of these men? Sexual abuse is not women; it’s men. Every once in a while a woman will sexually abuse,…”

This woman keeps getting more ignorant with every comment she makes. “Every once in a while?” Did it ever occur to this so-called mental health “professional” that because there is so much denial within society, and by the victims themselves, and so much deep-seated shame –that most victims of female sexual offenders will never speak about it? Does Clancy not realize that mother/daughter, sister/sister, grandmother/granddaughter incest is not rare but is rarely spoken of by society and by the victims?
Juat because something is not spoken about does NOT meant that it does not happen.

There are over 60 million survivors of child sexual abuse in America alone. Millions of them have been raped and sodomized, terrorized with objects inserted in their bodies, and forced into oral sex. In addition, 95% of victims never tell anyone, so how the hell can she claim that rape, oral rape, sodomy, violent penetration by men, and sexual abuse by a woman is rare?

“….people exposed to horrifying events report that they often remember them all too well. Ask any child exposed to the recent earthquake in Haiti if they “repressed it.” None will. True trauma will always be remembered. “

There are HUGE differences between what happened in Haiti, and victims of incest who repress their experience: If any child exposed to the earthquake were to be told by their family members that nothing happened to them, and if everyone in their family denied that any earthquake ever took place and acted as if nothing had ever happened while the earthquake was occurring,……and if all records and documentation of the earthquake were sealed, and if no one ever spoke of the earthquake again, I can guarantee you that the child would repress all of the trauma that they experienced, and even that the quake ever happened.
Haiti was an awful thing, and still is a tragic traumatic event. But unlike abuse people are not going to just pretend it did not happen, making people (esspecially children) question their own memories.

“The idea of repression ultimately hurts victims. It reinforces the notion that sexual abuse is and should be a traumatic experience when it happens – something done against the will of the victims.”

I don’t even know what to say to this… so Ms Clancy; pedophiles and sex offenders have done NOTHING WRONG??? So children don’t resist or fight back? So child abuse survivors do not suffer from PTSD? So child abuse does not cause dissociative identity disorder? So the psyche fragmenting is perfectly natural and healthy?
Ms Clancy what you are doing is helping to perpetuate an atmosphere where those who want to abuse children, will molest them and say, ‘this won’t hurt you’ or `she won’t resist, because she likes it.’ Those who will rape children can say, `no one will believe you”. YOU are HELPING the abusers

No child wants to be raped or penetrated with objects. Their body might respond favorably to on-going molestation, but this is a mere biologicval responce and NOT a sign that the actions were wanted. Most children are subtly groomed, so their so-called “free will” to be abused is not their will at all, but a mental conditioning to be abused.

Part 2 can be seen here

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